#JD has said This is a long slow song about a long slow marriage.

[horseradish-road]

spend all night in the company of ghosts

always wake up alone

[okimargarvez]

SHE IS PERFECT FOR HIM

Original title: Lei è perfetta per lui.

Prompt: Spencer and Lila are getting married; handbook for shippers.

Warning: mention of various kind of TV-series.

Genre: comedy, humor, romantic, friendship.

Characters: Penelope Garcia, Luke Alvez, O.C.

Pairing: Garvez.

Note: oneshot 33 in Garvez collection.

Legend: 💏😘🎈.

Song mentioned: L’amore e basta, Tiziano Ferro.

GARVEZ STORIES

I mentioned many of my ships from various series: jelinda (Jim Clancy and Melinda Gordon, Ghost whisperer) ; Elliot and JD (Scrubs) ; Ted Mosby and Robin Scherbatsky (How I met your mother); Tate (Caitlin Todd and Anthony Dinozzo, NCIS) ; Jack and Amanda (Diagnosis Murderer) ; Danny Messer and Lindsay Monroe (CSI New York) ; Semir Gerkhan and Andrea Gerkhan (Alarm für Cobra 11 – Die Autobahnpolizei).

This story is dedicated to @thinitta cause it's just one way to say something I think I don't say to her yet: I love you, we are like a sisters even if we live so far... And I love our crazy conversations XD

SHE IS PERFECT FOR HIM

Luke Alvez didn’t know he was so sentimental before he saw Penelope, sitting in the church next to him, crying during a colleague's wedding. Yet, a song doesn’t stop turning in the head, even after, during the reception, especially when, with great joy, he ends up again next to the blonde IT, sitting right in front of him.

I change, perhaps, always nice, no, nice for me, that I see you always nice that I feel like dying. Even if you close the doors in front of me, sometimes, even if I’m alone and far away, sometimes, and when I am in the hotel, I’m less mine and more of the fate, and write it in a terrible letter, but if you carry a cross, don’t keep it in silence in the soul, love, shout it out loud!

He has eyes just for her, the whole table realizes it. He already feels lucky like that, a whole day without unsub to chase, so long time to admire her. But she, as always, ignores him, talks to JJ about the marriage of the latter and a missed one, hers. And while he feels jealousy rise, towards a stranger who has had the ardor of asking Penelope's hand, something falls on his shoulder. He raises his head and understands instantly.

-Well, they say: wet bride is a lucky bride!- someone exclaims, while some women scream, complaining about the hairstyle cost hours and money. Luke has always loved the rain and today his level of worship goes up considerably. The hotel where the reception is held obviously had foreseen this eventuality, in fact the tables are ready inside, in a decidedly less suggestive, but dry environment. Even these with the seats assigned and not exchangeable. He and Penelope, jubilation, end up with a group of strangers, or rather unknown. The bride's friends and bridesmaids.

-Excuse me.- Penelope draws the attention of a waiter. -There must be a mistake. We... I should be with the groom's friends.- the young man looks displeased.

-I'm desolate, miss, but these are the procedures. Take this opportunity to make new friends.- and he goes away. He never thought that Garcia had these problems, indeed, the opposite, but today she seems so lost in her thoughts. In the end she surrenders, sits down next to him and sighs.

-Well, it seems that fate wants to keep us close.- Luke says, not very loud, pouring himself a drink. Then he asks her if she wants the same, and she shrugs, holding out her glass. Their fingers touch each other.

-Yeah, Newbie, I bet you did it raining, on purpose.- he chuckles, glad that she wants to play in this way. It is definitely a beautiful day.

-Yes, uh, it happens that I have a friend in the meteorological institute...- it's not even a complete lie. He approaches slightly, winking at her and the blonde can’t help but smile, shaking her head.

-Hey, it looks like you've impressed someone.- she whispers softly, causing shivers down his back with her hot breath. They look at each other, he with a confused expression. -Do you see that beautiful brunette, on the other side of the table? Since we've arrived, she's just staring you.- Luke raises his head to check and she stops him. -Stupid, she could see you!- their mouths are only a few centimeters apart and for a moment he loses control. Then Penelope lets him go and returns to a normal position.

-Too bad that I prefer blondes.- he comments shamelessly flirtatious.

-Ha ha, very funny. Instead you look exactly the kind of man who likes brunette, Latin, slender, tiny, in short...- she gets stuck, because she ended up on rough terrain. He laughs openly.

-Brunette, Latin...? That is a feminine version of me. So boring.- the waiters pass to collect the dishes with the leftovers of the appetizer. It will be a long day. -No, I repeat, I’m attracted more to blondes. Light hair, fair skin...- he passes the tongue on the lips. -Better yet, if she wears glasses.- he dared too much and in response receives a weak fist on the arm.

-The more time passes and the more you become stupid, Alvez.- but at the same time Penelope keeps an eye on the brunette who keeps looking at them.

-It's the effect you're doing to me.- she seems to be back in time and there's Morgan beside her, not Luke. She misses to flirting with a man, but she doesn’t flirt with him, never, it's too... dangerous. She looks up at the sky. Without stopping to stare her, the man tries to grab the glass, but he clashes right with... that brunette. Penelope doubts that she took the opportunity to find an excuse to start talking. -Oh, sorry .- Luke is forced to turn around.

-Don’t worry, it was my fault, I'm so clumsy...- yes, she's definitely right, the woman did it on purpose. Penelope finds herself annoyed, but believes it is due to her feminine pride. She would never falling in down to impress a man. Luke smiles politely at the chick. -You're a federal, are not you? I think I saw you on TV.- he nods, shrugging his shoulders modestly.

-I could say the same thing. I'm Luke, nice to meet you. And she is Penelope, the best computer technician in the world.- uh, definitely exaggerated. The blonde is stunned by this presentation, especially because the last time he had said to her a compliment like that, it was a mockery. She merely smiles and shakes her hand.

-But sure, you both work for the unit of behavioral analysis with Spencer!- apparently they are more famous than they thought. -And... if I can ask, sorry but I work for a tabloid newspaper... professional deformation... how long have you been together, you two? There would be perfect to write an article on the changes in recent years within the federal regulation against fraternization at work.- Penelope, who was drinking, almost chokes, while a smile on the face of Luke is painted. However, she talks first.

-No, we're not engaged, we're just colleagues. Just colleagues.- any psychologist could tell him that repetition is certainly a sign of nervousness, present when trying to tell a lie. And Garcia has never been good at lying, as far as he knows. In addition, she seems decidedly blushing.

-Ah, weird. I could have sworn that...- even the brunette who, according to Penelope was interested in him, remains confused. Before she can restrain him, Luke decides to say his own.

-Well, it's actually she who thinks so, but I'm not satisfied to be just his "colleague".- he says the last word in a strange way. -And I don’t give up. She's about to go down, I feel it.- the blonde's protest is slowed by the arrival of the first plate. Spencer have been very attentive and warned all staff that she was a vegetarian. What she doesn’t understand is why the waiter served the same dish also to Alvez. He understands where her gaze fell. -I didn’t want you to feel alone...- he whispers softly, and the tone seems very serious. Penelope swallows and chooses to ignore it.

-Wow, guys, you'd be perfect for a TV series. There is so much feeling between you two. One shot and we would already have a million shippers, I'm sure.- the IT decides to change the subject.

-Do you know who is the best ship ever? Melinda and Jim. Ghost whisperer. Fabulous. They have shown that there is no need for the typical tension of the "before they get together" phase to drive fans all over the world crazy. When he dies, he refuses to leave her and enters that body and forgets her, but he is still pushed towards her... and then when he finally remembers... I have consumed a box of tissues, and if I accidentally turn on the TV and there is that scene, it's the same thing, always.- Penelope talks in one of her passionate monologues. He loves to listen to her, because every time he discovers something new that concerns her. In this case, the thought of her that looks at such shows and is moved doesn’t surprise him. He had imagined it exactly like that.

-You are right, it's one of the best ships that exist. Then Jennifer Love Hewitt is a great actress, very beautiful, without falling into the vulgar, intense... however, I'm so stupid, I realized I hadn’t introduce myself yet. I'm Clara, one of the bride's bridesmaids.- Penelope has definitely changed her mind about the brunette and now they're both immersed in sharing ships, one of the quickest methods in the current millennium to make friends instantly. If you share my ship, then I could even fall in love with you.

-And in your opinion? What is the couple that made you suffer more and that was successful?- Luke has been transformed from an object of desire to an uncomfortable third wheel, and is not sure that it displeases him.

-Elliot and JD, definitely.- seeing the confused expression of Penelope, she opens her mouth. -Don’t tell me you never watching Scrubs!- the other hurries to deny. -Oh, you scared me. It was a continuous back and forth, but even when they were separated... it was as if they were together anyway. And in the end, they got married. Better than that, it could not have ended.- both women utter dreamy sighs. -Now it's your turn.- of them three, Luke is the only one who is eating.

-Ok, I'm a bit ashamed, but... Ted and Robin.- no need to specify which series it is, he even understood it. -I think that producers and screenwriters have found a good idea, that of a father who tells his children how he met their mother and ends up putting in everything about the period of his youth... I do it for anything, talk nonsense, I mean, as at this moment.- they laugh in an accomplice way. -But in the meantime they needed something to move it all, and although the ship between Lily and Marshall is great...- spoiler alarm. -...it is still the canonical ship and it needed a more... messed up. But they have definitely exaggerated, creating the story of Ted and Robin. The French horn was the pinnacle, but there is so much to tell you...- Clara nods, but doesn’t seem entirely agree.

-I have a confession to make, that I fear will break your heart.- even if she is a journalist, it could very well be an actress like Lila. She takes Penelope's hand in hers. -I went on the dark side...- the blonde opens her eyes and nods her head. -Yes, I'm sorry... but I prefer Robin and Barney.- it can be true friendship only if you are able to overcome the diversity of opinions on one of your favorite couples. Penelope nods, not letting go.

-Yes, well, I find them nice too. It is difficult to choose, I think the producers have just done a bullshit, with this double possibility. But after all, their goal is only to have ratings, that people look at it so as to continue to obtain financing.- the sad reality behind every alleged work of art. Sad and resigned sighs.

-But let's move on to really important things. Do you love more the couples who are already canon, engaged, married, like Jim and Melinda, or those of which we see the slow development?- oh yes, it is these, the fundamental things of life. But he is curious to discover Penelope's answer.

The woman seems to think about it. -It's a difficult question, I love both possibilities. Perhaps, but... more the second. I believe that, even in real life, the phase in which everything is in the balance, in short, it is clear that two people are going in one direction but there is still uncertainty, every moment is full of possibilities... is the best. Like the moments before the first kiss...- Luke manages to attract his attention brushing her arm. -What's there?- for a thousandth of a second they look into each other's eyes and only they exist, as pure spirit.

-Nothing, I wanted to know if the ladies liked to drink.- he also winks at Clara, who is quick to hand over her glass. Penelope nods her head. But is it just a casual gesture, or should he read more behind it?

-Anyway I agree, those are among the best moments, even if I always find myself shouting at the television as it is possible that someone is so naive as to not understand when the person he is in love with, feels the same.- the blonde doesn’t notices it, but Clara launches a decidedly explicit look at Luke, and certainly not to flirting with him. The man tightens his lips and raises his eyebrows, as if to say that he no longer knows what to do. -And how kind of dynamic? Friends or enemies? Or, let's not forget, there is also the "first in bed and then exchange of names" version. Usually these are the couples that last longer.- she laughs, while Penelope blushes.

-Uh, I'm a bit bad, but I love when the man is clearly the more taken and she, although not fully aware of it, for some reason decides to keep him at a distance and treat him a bit bad... I don’t know, I think it is guilt of my feminism.- Luke chokes with a mouthful and is forced to drink again. He swaps another look with Clara.

-Give me an example.. it is now clear that the journalist has decided to give him a hand, even if she doesn’t know why. Perhaps she got slightly carried way by this story of the ship.

-Well, Kate and Tony. Although there the situation was fairly balanced, but between the two, in the end, he was the more taken. When Kate died, I stopped looking at NCSI.- a thoughtful pause. -Jack and Amanda. Diagnosis Murder. It's an old series, but, hell, I rewatched an episode by mistake last week and... I realized I was shipping them even more than in the past. Unfortunately, between them there was been only a kiss...- Penelope hasn’t quite understood that she is ending in a trap. As the protagonist of any self-respecting fanfiction, she is naive and unaware.

-Yes, I remember, when Jack saves her life, one of many times.- the blonde nods with emphasis. -But don’t you think that their relational dynamics could be described as that between brother and sister? I don’t know about you, but I grew up with two older brothers and they treated me that way, but they weren’t in love with me, I assure you.- Clara has launched the supreme challenge. She has to demonstrate that her ship contains the motivations to become canon.

And the IT certainly doesn’t hold back. She positions herself better on the chair, waits for the waiters to pass with the second plate, and starts to talking, as a lawyer who exposes his plea in court. -I have three brothers, no, it's not their case. These are imperceptible things, because after all it is not a comedy, but an old-fashioned crime, so relationships develop in the margins, as a boundary and are often used to create hilarious situations. But if we go to see the nuances well, Jack is clearly jealous of Amanda, like in that episode with the doctor who finally flirt with her friend in front of her and it turns out that he was also the killer...- Clara nods, looks a second to Luke, almost winks and then returns to focus on Penelope.

-Yes, that Jack is interested in Amanda is also clear to me. But to be together, they must both be involved. And you say that from the way she behaves with him, that is, because she treats him badly, it's clear that Amanda also feels something for him. I say wrong?- well, Phil will not be offended to share the rule of his best man with Clara. If this is successful, it is the least he can do to thank her.

Luke turns directly to look at her, but Penelope doesn’t notice, so taken by the defense of her ship. -No, that's right. Because... after all, to treat badly, to keep at a distance, they are all defense techniques. The same thing happens between Danny and Linsday. At the beginning they can’t stand each other, they have to argue on any occasion, they prick each other and then... they even end up having two children. I think it's the crime couple with the most consistent dynamic, as Andrea and Semir of Cobra 11 Special Team for the action series.- Clara nods, then, after a few seconds, she stands up.

-Sorry, I... I'm going to the toilet for a moment.- she winks at Luke, who returns her.

Penelope turns to him. -Well, I was right. It seems that something is being born on this table. You'll have to thank your meteorologist friend...- the man smiles, but then realizes that she has clearly misunderstood.

-What are you saying?- meanwhile the time continues to flow, inexorable.

-You and Clara! Hey, I saw that you looked at each other all the time. When she comes back, I'll go to the bathroom, so that you can...- he silences her with three moves at the same time. Leaning forward, bring his face close to that of the woman; he puts a finger on her lips; with his other hand he grabs her arm.

-But what…? No, Garcia, you didn’t understand anything. I don’t care Clara, I told you, she's not my type. You see too many TV series and you can’t help shipping, even in the real world.- it sounds a bit too much as a reproach. She looks at the amber fingers around her arm. -Really, don’t you get it, Penelope? Even Clara noticed it, that’s the reason why we looked at each other while you are talking about couples and relationship dynamics and those things. Why can’t you apply the same parameters to yourself?- he lets her go and she starts breathing again. She can’t think, is confused.

-To myself?- she asks, with a little voice as a child.

-Yes, to yourself. Why the way Amanda treats Jack should be symptomatic of her interest, and the same behavior, yours with me, is not it?- again, she's out of breath, swallows, turns her head. Her body implements every possible defense to prevent that thought from making its way into her mind. -Why did you keep me at a distance before you even met me? And you call me Newbie?- too many questions, she feels like she's being accused, on the stand.

-I... you know. I told you, you took Morgan place, who was my best friend. I promised myself that I would hate anyone who replaced Derek, so it has nothing to do with you. You're not special.- she at least manages to convince herself.

-No, it's not just this. You were jealous of Roxy, when you thought she was my girlfriend. And you can’t hate people, Penelope.- damned all the profilers of the universe. -Do you say that you really don’t feel anything for me? That you don’t even like me a little?- he looks straight into her eyes, as he asks her, he doesn’t even know with what courage. Despair, of course. Clara will be take time on purpose to give them time to conclude.

-Uh, Luke...- signs of surrender: she has used his name; dilated pupils. -No, you're not my type. Surely many women think differently, that you're an attractive man, and there's nothing strange, because it's true.- she got messed up by herself. This time nobody will come to the rescue. -I mean, it's an objective fact, like... like... something that I can’t remember of right now.- she blushes to the tips of the ears and he swears that she's also sweating. -But the physical aspect is not enough, you know?- why she persists to treat him as if he were a superficial playboy?

-I know.- he blames the blow well, after all. -I told you, in fact, that as well as blonde, with clear skin, glasses, the girl I like also has a huge heart, is sweet, playful, and an absolute genius?- maybe white wine that Luke is sipping it was been altered by some substance or he doesn’t hold alcohol at all. It is the only explanation.

-Listen, Luke, I also love flirting and play this game, but sometimes less is more.- she makes clear, while in the distance sees Clara come.

-But it was never a game for me.- he tries to take her hand and sees her wavering.

-No?- before he can answer, the brunette sits, apologizing with her eyes.

-I couldn’t really miss the dessert.-

And... and I’m the only one who knows every answer, and I will not change with the passing time, and while I lose myself thinking about just love... and you remember that this is what I’m, and I challenge life always with my head down, because I care about just love... and I’m the only one who knows every memory, and for me you're not the first thing to come along, because for me you're just love... and I’m the only one who know my mistakes, even if there is still a trace left, in front of everyone for you I’m just your love...

 The wedding is over, the couple have flown off for their honeymoon and everyone is slowly moving towards their respective destinations. Penelope doesn’t understand why Luke is still following her. -Hey, Newbie, the party is over, you can stop playing the part of the seducer, now.- if he was another type of man, would take her by the wrist and making her a turn that would catapult her in his arms. But, unfortunately, he is part of those who struggle to expose themselves with gestures of that kind, the opposite of macho.

-Play the part? Do you seriously think that I am like that? No, but you would like it. It would make things easier. But no. I'm the opposite of a seducer, and I'm not ashamed to tell you. I always thought it was better to be alone, don’t bind me, especially while I was at war. I'm not good with women, I don’t go to a romantic date since high school. I'm a complete landslide.- his words had the strength to stop her and force her to turn around. Luke performs in a sad smile.

-Why are you telling me all these things, Luke? Do you want to pity me? Do you need someone to vent your masculine instincts?- damn it, this woman would put a strain on anyone. -Because, I'm sorry, it's a tempting offer, I don’t deny, but...- he reaches her, shaking his head and sighing.

-Fuck, Garcia, do you think I just want to fuck with someone? Getting that would definitely be easier than a hug from you. We've known each other for two years, and the only kind words you've addressed to me have actually been directed to my dog. You don’t want to give me even a miserable chance.- she has never seen him so much altered, not with her, over all. Penelope trembles, but the fear of getting hurt is stronger than everything else.

-Chance for what, make me believe you're crazy in love with me and then make fun of me? You're not the only one who's been dry for quite a while. I'm better alone.- finally the truth. -It's just because I treated you badly, if you're so attached to me, don’t you realize? If only I...- Luke shakes his head and slowly lays his hands on her shoulders, then down the arms.

-No, it's not just for the chase, it's that I'm fine when I'm with you. I can’t hold back the smiles. And I feel like one of the protagonists of your TV series. And if you want to know, we already have a fan club. And a ship name.- Penelope opens her eyes and mouth. -All the team, but not only.- he answers to her mute questions. -People from O'Keef, Phil, even your Morgan. And Clara.- she doesn’t reply anything. -Garvez, the name is Garvez. Garcia and Alvez. It's not bad, what do you think? It’s by JJ.- of whom others, she had been the founding partner of the ship.

To get out of the quagmire, Penelope finds herself saying the first bullshit that goes through her head. -Lila is perfect for Spencer, because she will never ask him to stop loving Maeve.- Luke is so surprised to let her go. The mouth bent in his typical crooked grimace.

-You are right, she is perfect for him because she can understand and make him happy, even if they are completely different or maybe because of this. But what does it really mean what you said? That your first love is dead, or that you will never look at me in the way you look at Morgan?- the woman understands that he has no intention of surrendering. She sighs, bites her lips and returns to look at him.

-Of course, I'll never look at you as Morgan, you're not him. You're another person.- a calm, resigned tone. In the air around them it is possible to see the formation of the written canon in the sky, in cloud’s shape.

-And this is good or bad, for you?- it can’t just be a fixation, it can’t be just for the thrill of hunting, it can’t be just to take her to bed, it can’t be a sophisticated revenge. Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.

-I don't know.- she shrugs and he takes her face in his hands. -I can’t risk, do you understand? Because it was so damn taken for granted that I would have a crush on the new one, everyone was expecting it and I hate the obvious things, I hate them to death...- maybe when the man's soft lips press on hers, she changes her mind. A delicate kiss, trembling, at the same time intense. And in those few minutes a real process takes place in Penelope's mind. The defense attorney is herself, the only one to say no, she's not feeling anything because Luke is indifferent to her. Luke is the lawyer, that is the banality. The witnesses at the stand are all their friends and even some strangers. The jury is the heart of Penelope and the judge, who issues the sentence, the one who has the last word... is her head.

The blonde suddenly pulls off and looks at him. Luke thinks he messed things up, but it would still be worth it. Both the mind and the heart are repeating the same thing: you are perfect for him and he is perfect for you. Nothing else matters.

The bang of the gavel. The verdict is: guilty.

TAGS: @theshamelessmanatee  @arses21434 @kathy5654 @martinab26 @reidskitty13 @jenf42 @gracieeelizabeth27 @silviajajaja @smalliemichelle99 @charchampagne14 @thinitta   @myhollyhanna23 @garvezz @mercedes-maldonado  @shyladystudentfan @cosmicmelaninflower

[likeabulletyoucanhurtme]

The 100 (questions that is....not band or TV show)

1. If you were on a 2 hour road trip and could only listen to one song on repeat until the trip was over what song would it be? idk it would depend. Could be Neck Deep - In Bloom but also if you go with Dream Theater - A Change Of Seasons thats only like 4 plays :) 2. If heaven or hell didn’t exist and wasn’t a reward would you still make an effort in being a good person? Atheists believe in good. 3. What’s your poison? Vices etc. JD 4. What’s your favorite thing about your hometown? the football team lol.

5. Are you a better friend to your friends than they are to you? It's a mutual thing that we don't really talk lol. I'm a horrible friend to most people but one did say I was angel, which was a compliment cause she’s religious even though I’m not

6. Have you ever ran a red light? I can't drive, but I ignore traffic signs when walking. They're more of a suggestion than a rule especially in Glasgow.

7. Who is the most influential person in your life? I influence myself; fuck all y'all.

8. Give me a hot take. What’s the unpopular opinion you stand by? Love Island is pish

9. What would the ten year old you think about you now? 10yr old me wanted to be an astronaught so idk lol probably disappointed

10. What’s your favorite city to visit/live in? Town lol I don't do visits

11. Tell me the story of your first kiss. She asked me out and I was kinda dithering but then just as she was walking away I shouted yes at her like a fucking lunatic and she turned around like "....oh." Then we snogged :P

12. What was your yearbook quote (if you didn’t have one what would it be)? The romans didnt invent a great civilisations by having meetings. They did it by killing all those who opposed them.

13. What’s a non-sexual turn on for you? Millie's Cookies <33333

14. Who’s your favorite non-animated movie character? The wee old dear from Last Train To Busan <3

15. You fall into $10K and you have to spend it on yourself and not bills, what do you buy? Gig tickets, alcohol and stuff off my list

16. Have you picked names for your children yet? one

17. Do you have any talents? I'm very good at singing badly

18. Which would you prefer: Netflix and Chill or iTunes and Chill? Netflix or iTunes themselves. I ain't got no chill. And no-ones interrupting me if I'm listening to music/watching something

19. Fill in the blank: I want to ____ your _____. _hug_, _soul_

20. Is once a cheater always a cheater true? idk people can change but I'd say the relationship is forever ruined. Someone that cheated on me might not cheat again, but I wouldn't trust them anymore.

21. In one word, What was the reason your last relationship failed? complacency

22. What’s something therapeutic you do when you’re stressed? listen to music

23. What was your favorite non-Pixar Disney Film? Big Hero 6

24.  Ruin a first date in 5 words or less. "I like country music" :P

25. Drums or Flats? I thought this was about music or highheels but google says its about chicken. And I prefer boneless!

26. Do you remember your last dream? What about? No idea, I don't remember them much I'm just greatful for whatever sleep I can get.

27. Do you want your kids to go to church, synagogue, temple, mosque? why? Never! I don't want to fill their heads with nonsense and a life of trying to conform to outdated arbitrary rules just so they have a good afterlife.

28. If Gerard Butler, Russell Crowe, and Liam Neeson get into a bar brawl who wins? The press?

29. Looking back would you have lost your virginity sooner than you did or later? Sooner. The lateness was not for lack of trying

30. Do you have a favorite book? Not really but it used to be either Reaper Man or The Hitch-hikers Guide To The Galaxy

31. Fuck Marry Kill? Do I get to pick my own??????? Fuck - "Main Course" Marry - hahahaha no Kill - your hopes and dreams

32. Is college worth it? Why? Yes because its good to know things and worth it to get a better job so you're not working beside me :)

33. Favorite Cartoon growing up. idk I can't really remember what I watched.

34. What’s your favorite social media besides tumblr? I'm on Facebook more but that's just to play games mostly

35. Does your first crush still look good? I don't talk to her anymore but her pictures aren't too bad

36. Do you think starting a gofundme is begging or helpful? Depends on the reason, like I've seen one just for a sesh which is fucking stupid, but like Americans do them for medical bills or some legit reasons.

37. Sesame Street or Barney? Sesame Street! Cookie Monster<3

38. What you’re favorite R&B Album of all time? I hate them all.

39. What movie(s) do you know all the lines to by heart? I can quote bits of films but probably not the whole film

40. Would you date someone you met on here? idk like I prefer this as a more anonymous space to share things and rant about people who actually know me. If I'm doing this right no-one I meet on here should figure out who I am :) But yes I'd date y'all cause you're all wonderful peoples

41. Would you rather be too hot or too cold? Too cold, it's Scotland you know?

42. Would you date yourself? I dont think I could put up with my own shit. And if it was like really my personality in a female form we'd be far too fucking shy to speak to each other.

43. Apple or Android? Android, Apple is a cult

44. What is the first song that you can remember learning the lyrics to? Daydream Believer for my aunties wedding

45. What are 3 of your favorite Michael Jackson songs? I genuinely do not like any of them but Alien Ant Farm covered Smooth Criminal if that counts?

46. Fill in the blanks: it’s not cheating if ___ ____ ____. you haven't actually kissed or slept with the other person and you're only sharing inappropriate messages on facebook and they've already said they're not a homewrecker... sorry, too specific?

47. Could you put your dreams on hold to support your bf/gf pursuing theirs? my dreams have been crushed so it would depend on what theirs were

48. What’s is the title to your autobiography? The Life And Times Of A Fucknut

49. Is there someone you’re trying not to call or text right now? YES! SO MUCH. I want to message her all the time but she hasn't messaged me and i dont want to appear desperate even though I am so I'm not gonna message first although I check every 5mins if shes messaged me

50. What is your favorite emoji or emoji combination? :P or ;)

51. Do you have any deal breakers in relationships? cheating lol.

52. Are you Tre or Doughboy? I had no idea so I googled it and Wikipedia says "Tre is highly intelligent but has a volatile temper and lacks respect" which is so me :) Idk who doughboy is lol

53. Favorite movie? Don't really have one tbh. I have too many I want to watch to bother re-watching something i've seen.

54. How long do you talk to someone before you expect a relationship? when you talk to someone its the start of a relationship in the loosest sense of the word because friendship is still the relationship between two people

55. Ruin a first date in 5 words or less. repeat questions would ruin a date cause it proves you're not listening

56. How old are you and how old do you feel? I'm 29 but I feel the same as i always have

57. Tag your favorite tumblr blog. @evilsupplyco

58. Your house is burning down and your family is safe what is the one material item you’d grab? my phone'd already be in my pocket so laptop?

59. How long until you introduce your bf/gf to your family? theyve met

60. Fill in the blank: All you need in this life of sin is you and your ____. Nope. All you need in this life of sin is you. No and your anything

61. Kobe, Jordan, or Lebron? neither

62. What is your favorite Drake lyric? I hate everything he has ever said

63. Where did you meet the last person you fell in love with? I don't fall in love, I believe I only fall in lust/infatuation/obsession.

64. Do you know your love language? I joined a shitty website to find the answer. Apparently it's physical touch and then words of affirmation.

65. Take a Myers Briggs Personality Test: what are your results? No. I fail at these. The questions are never things that i would do so i feel like im unintentionally lying and it never sounds like me

66. How do you feel about Quentin Taurentino films? Violence and blood what could be better?

67. Fill in the blank: Get you someone who will ______. _worship you as the amazing and beautiful bad ass bitch that you are <-- actual drunken advice from me

68. What’s your favorite movie soundtrack? Spiderman 2 i actually had the album

69. What’s your favorite fragrance on the opposite sex? i dont care what they smell like as long as its not fags

70. Is there any magazine, blog, or publication you read weekly? Nope

71. Will you abstain from sex or go to marriage counseling? Why are these my only options? But I'm not going to counselling, if they have issues then they should just tell me :)

72. There’s two kinds of people in the world: Those who pour ketchup on their fries, and the ones who put it on the side to dip. Which one are you? The one who doesn't order ketchup at all.

73. Rough sex or slow sex? Both. Either. Any lol

73. Have you ever slept with a stranger? Nope. Not that I have anything against it I've just never had the opportunity

74. What’s your dream music collaboration? Produced by who (Dead or Alive)? idk but probably produced by rick rubin cause that guy does eeeeeverything lol

75.  What song will you probably conceive your kids to? Music would just be a distraction

76. Do you have a scripture or quote you live by? Nope

77. Finish this sentence: If men had birth control _____. itd be free

78. How long should sex last? As long as both partners need

79. What music do you listen to when you de-stress? Just whatevers next on the playlist

80. How soon should you text someone after getting their number? The next time you want to tell them something but they arent there beside you?

81. How do you feel about the 80/20 rule? Living in lol but its more like erm 20/80?

82. Is sex a determinate in a relationship? Yeah. Why would you get with someone if you're not at least somewhat attracted to them?

83. Is it wrong to move in with someone or “shack up” before marriage? Nope

81. Send me a never have I ever. Never have I ever enjoyed beer

82. What is your favorite video game of all time? Spyro The Dragon

83. Who is your favorite book/movie character? "SQUEAK" said the Death Of Rats

84. Can you define love as best as you can? Nope

85. Does size matter? I hope not, women like taller guys lol.

86. What is your favorite thing about the person you like? Physically? Personality? idk

87. Five Year plan? Go! Don't get fired, save money, get an actual house, buy stuff off my list?

88. If someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to? idk i dont understand me so why you asking me?

89. Do you think of yourself as a human being or a human doing? Do you identify yourself by the things you do? I don't tend to think of myself at all really... and why would I identify myself?

90. What does emotionally available mean to you? Someone who is not emotionally closed off?

91. Could you go into business with your ex? Hahahahahahahah no

92. What is the last song you sang aloud? I'd Rather Drown ineverletpeopleinandihaveyoutoremindmewhy

93. If someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you? They do. They told me. It sucks cause it changes nothing except igniting that small bit of hope id given up on...

94. How do you prefer to obtain your music Streaming, Downloads, or Physical? Physical albums for artists I like, even though it just goes straight into the laptop anyway i still like having albums

95. Name an artist you like that your friends probably don’t listen to. What friends? But erm Archangels Revenge. I doubt the ex members listen to them as much as I do lol

96. Tag someone that’s probably her baby father. this makes no sense?

97. Post a selfie you really like. nope

98. Do you watch anime? What is your favorite? Death Note or The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya so far, but ive got a lot on my list

99. What’s the zodiac sign of the last person you dated? Aquarius

100. Do you know Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior? I know that he is not either.